My odd modeling career (I’d like to coin the term “oddeling”) continues to roll on surprisingly well....suggesting it may be a new facet of my career.

It began with a surprise book cover.  Then a surprise bus wraparound advertisement.  And now this.... 

Discovery has a show called 10 Years Younger... and its premise is what the title suggests.... a makeover show promising to make women - and a few fellows - look 10 years younger than they did before the makeover team got ahold of them.

Discovery booked me for the show’s commercial/print ad.  But I had to agree to getting a makeover...on only HALF my face.  OK.  No problem.  They wanted to color HALF my hair.  Um...I guess that’s okay.  They wanted to cut HALF my hair.  NOT OK.  NOT in a gazillion years is anyone chopping off my hair.  After years of being obligated to shorter hair because of TV news, I finally have my long locks...  No way is anyone cutting my hair for less than One. Million. Dollars.  Maybe half a million.  Maybe. 

This refusal causes a mini-crisis early in the shoot, but not as big a crisis as the color selection is about to stir.  They want something dramatic for my new half-look! 

“What about black?,” ask the men, who are now crowded around me, staring intently like I‘m raw Grade A meat and they’re barbecue guests. 

“How is black going to make her look 10 years younger?” retorts the female makeup artist. 

“How about making her super blonde like Marilyn Monroe?” asks the male director. 

“You’re going to destroy her hair!” argues the female makeup artist. 

And back.  And forth.  And to.  And fro. 

Two hours later.... I gingerly step into the impasse suggesting we go with an even redder version of my hair color. 

Pause. 

Eyes Meet.

Heads Nod. 

Victory. 

The appeased man-crowd finally turns away from my head and onto other matters.

At this point, I have no idea the easy part is over.

The shoot is unlike any I’ve ever done.  Only 30 seconds is actual video footage.  The rest of the makeover is going to take place as I sit on a wood chair (this will matter later) while a camera automatically shoots photos of me every few seconds.  It’ll be that cool, jumpy, stop-motion effect, like the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer special on TV every Christmas.

Catch is, I can’t talk.  Can’t smile.  Can’t shift my eyes around.  Basically, I need to channel the spirit of a statue while the makeup artist and her assistant whirl around me, coloring (half) my hair, and powdering and primping (half) my face.  They are creating a “Before and After” look on my face by making me over on only ONE side of my face.

But the actual makeover takes LESS time than the camera needs, so the process gets streeeeeetched out.... and my posterior is now at war with the incredibly hard and unforgiving Stool Of Evil Wood.  And ANOTHER thing.  I cannot sit still.  I find myself doing all sorts of strange things to disperse nervous energy... twisting my wrists around (because the camera can’t see that), flexing my ankles, and finally, learning the timing of the camera so I can move and blink madly in between photo snaps.

In the end, let me just drop the teeniest-weeniest hint that my “Before “ side got a bit “enhanced” in its “beforeness” to make the “afterness” all the more striking.   But hey!  That’s the kind of stuff that happens in the wacky world of “oddeling”....

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For more of Eileen’s uniquely told “life experiences”... roll on over to Eileen’s official blog site: eileenfaxas.com/EF/Blog/Blog.html.  And if bullies are harassing you over your oddness, remember you, too, can grow up to be an oddel....